Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
