dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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