just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
