She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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