Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
