I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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