1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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