He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
