Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
be right there i have to get my cape
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
