Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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