; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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