I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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