So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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