Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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