I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
