Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't turn off my feet"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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