Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
