Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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