I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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