That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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