At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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