I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
P.S. I can't hear my feet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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