Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
