Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
