Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
