I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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