I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
