That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
