the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
