i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need water and some morals
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
