Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
