no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
