he wants to bone in the snuggie
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
