just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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