i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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