From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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