I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
