all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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