I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
