I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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