Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You are a genius and a whore.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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