he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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