She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize