i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
third nipple confirmed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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