That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
