uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
