i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
