just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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