I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
