your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
one might say we're banned from that church
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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