oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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