went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
