she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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