so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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