You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
