I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Congratulations! We have a period
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
