There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize