I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
