is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
