Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
