yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
