weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
