Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
