Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
